Someone's asked me a question about going out for meals on dates.

Is it a good idea?

I think going out for a meal can be a very interesting way of getting to know someone. You get to see what they pick off the menu and normally, restaurants are quiet enough to be able to talk to get to know each other. You're sat down facing each other too which is always nice and if you pick the right place you can have candle light.

So what are the downsides?

Picking where to go on a date - which restaurant should you go to? One you'll both like - which starts off with you needing to find out what sort of food they like, whether they have any allergies (You have to listen to what people say and remember it!) and pick up on any hints such as "I've always wanted to go to X"

I know some people get very nervous about eating in front of other people - there's so much potential for disaster that you should bear a few things in mind if you think you're going to be nervous:

Anything which contains a liquidy sauce such as tomato is asking for splashed to go everywhere and on everyone. That scene in Lady and the Tramp where they share spagetti and suck each end until they kiss is a CARTOON! It isn't real! Eating spagetti in front of someone you're trying to impress is a no-no!

Garlic and onions. Unless of course they're going to be eating them too. If you go for a curry then its probably ok if you're both going to eat curry!

First dates are not the time to be adventurous. I've never had oysters but I know the first time I do I don't want to be trying to impress anyone!
Save being brave and trying new foods for later on in your relationship - or with your mates!

If you go too posh you might be oberwhelmed by it all and get to the point where you want to tuck the tablecloth into your shirt!

Other essential hints are about paying for the meal. Be prepared to pay for the meal. You might decide to go dutch or for one of you to pay this time and the other next time - but you should offer to be gallant. I'm not addressing this to blokes or women - both of you should offer!

Lunch can be a better idea sometimes than evening. For a start you can spend a shorter time with each other without knowning you're dooomed to eat a 12 course banquet with someone you've decided you can't stand.

Should you grab a sandwich and eat in the park together? If you work near each other then this might make a fun way of getting together for the first time but bear in mind that mayonaise will drip massively down your chin and onto your coat. It might also rain. Lunchtime can be great for a quick getting to know you snack!

Should you go to a burger bar? Depends how well you can judge how they'll react if you suggest it. Burger chains often evoke strong feelings in people so its best to tred softly.

Vegetarians are entitled to go on dates too! If you're a veggie then you might want to mention if on your online dating profile. Then people might not suggest to go and eat at el rancho steako!
I know most restaurants do a veggie alternative but its often a bit of an afterthought. If you're going to date a veggie then let them pick the restaurant - at least the first time anyway! Personally I love vegetarian food!

Alcohol. Should you inbibe? I think a single drink at lunchtime can be quite a relaxant - bear in mind if you have to drive at work though it might not be a good idea. In the evening always make sure you know how you're getting home before you consider drinking. If you're driving then stick to non-alcoholic drinks all evening. Staying clear headed is always an advantage.

Don't get rip-roaringly drunk on first dates (Or second or third even!) It isn't big and it isn't clever. You'll make a show of yourself which is usually (ok always) a bad thing!

Know your limit and stick to it. Drink a sparkling water with ice and lemon if you need to sober up a little.

 

Some people find that they're so nervous that they can't actually eat anything. If you know this happens to you then avoid a meal as a first or second date. Wait until you're more relaxed!